Welcome to a day in the life of my Monday mornings! My morning starts when the lovely radar sound alarm goes off followed a wave of anxiety, by an “UGH already”, and by hitting the snooze button. This cursed cycle continues for another 20 minutes until I finally get up and come to the realization that I can’t become less tired with <5 hours of sleep under my belt. The inability to open my eyes is soon ended by my makeup mirror’s ring of incandescent light highlighting my bag filled under eyes. All I can think is, “here we go again”. After the exhausting routine of my complex getting ready process, I’m consistently faced with a sense of panic of being late to school, even at 6:15 am. Trudging myself downstairs and out the door with my backpack that feels like it’s filled with bricks has become automatic for me, and before I know it I’m back in the school parking lot.Walking into the amazing building of Troy High School never fails to put me in an anxiety ridden mood of what my exciting day has to offer. Never knowing what pop test or quiz will ruin my perfect GPA, or if I didn’t understand something from my seemingly never ending amount of homework from the night before truly completes my morning procedure. Each class I walk into I feel my eyes getting heavier, no matter how much I try to stay bubbly and awake. Half way through the day, the little things start to irritate me. My only escape from the prison like feeling of school is lunch, which seems to be determined by random everyday, leaving me never knowing if I’ll even get to see my close friends.Looking at the clock every chance I get, waiting for my classes to end is always painful when I realize only two minutes have passed since the last time I checked. The cycle of school continues everyday until the weekend, where I can finally catch up on sleep, and then stress about my hours of homework that I have for the following week. The anxiety ridden school process is only fueled by the mass amounts of competition and desire to be the best and to not disappoint at our school. This “hardwired” cycle continues for months to follow and is anything but “natural” for anyone to endure as David Foster Wallace shows in his speech, “This is Water”. Even as a teenager, I still greatly relate to all the anecdotes used by Wallace in his speech. Every day I leave school with a questions and a thought: I DO NOT want to come back here tomorrow, and how can I balance all my APs, honors and regular classes, extracurriculars, a healthy social life, and stay well mentally?
I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoy school!
To end on a positive note instead of the greatly negative one in my post, here are
some fun little blog related gifs, all of which accurately represent me any given day of the week :)
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