Goodbye I Guess?

I’ve always hated goodbyes. Now it’s time to say goodbye to high school and I feel like I haven’t even fully met it yet. Right when I got adjusted and stopped feeling like a freshman that didn’t belong in the building, I went right back to square one. Junior year was the most typical “high school” year for me. I was finally fully adjusted and comfortable with all aspects of high school, I was hanging out with my friends basically every night of the week, I was going to all the football games, school dances, I was an upperclassman, and I was just overall having a good experience. I had a solid group of friends who I loved more than the world itself, and we had the absolute best times together. Then someone named Miss COVID decided to pop in and tear everything to shreds. Now I was missing out on all the activities I finally decided I wanted to partake in, I couldn’t see my friends and teachers everyday at school, I couldn’t hang out with anybody, and it was as if high school didn’t even exist anymore. Before COVID hit I was truly thriving and so quickly it was all taken away. Now this of course isn’t anyone’s fault as no one could predict a literal global pandemic, but it still sucks pretty badly. That school year was abruptly cut off, and it seemed just like summer break started a little early. Now, over a year into this beast, I feel like I still have never returned back to Troy High or school in general. I’ve been virtual this entire year, and due to the pandemic I haven't been able to truly hang out with my friends in MONTHS, and I feel like it’s just been a never ending twilight zone that’s the in between of junior year and whatever comes next. Now it’s time for me to go to college, and I feel like I haven’t even gone to high school yet. It’s so weird to process the ending of something when it ended so abruptly and there has been such a long time period of just nothing. I feel like I’m still a junior, yet at the same time I feel like I haven’t been a student at Troy High for ages. It’s time for prom and graduation and I totally forgot those were even happening because I feel so disconnected from the high school experience I was previously so enveloped in. On top of that, I just put my college enrollment deposit down, and I don’t even feel like I can start that chapter of my life if this one hasn’t even ended. It’s time to say goodbye to high school, and on top of goodbyes and change already being so hard, I don’t even know what I ‘m saying goodbye to anymore. 

Anyways, enjoy this sad song about goodbyes. It's quite ironic thinking back to myself in 2008 doing karaoke to It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday by Boyz II Men in my basement knowing that 13 years later the lyrics would actually hold some weight.